The Two Sides of Your Nervous System — and Why You Might Feel Stuck in “Go Mode”

As parents, we juggle a lot — kids, work, home life, the never-ending to-do list.
Even when everything looks calm on the outside, inside we’re often running on empty.

If you’ve ever found yourself  struggling to get to sleep or lying awake at night, mind racing even though you’re exhausted, there’s a reason for that. It’s not “just stress.” It’s your nervous system doing what it thinks is best to keep you safe.

I’m Liadhán Collins, Infant and Child Sleep Consultant and Breathwork Coach , and this is something I see with so many parents I work with — especially those who tell me, “My baby sleeps great now, but I can’t switch off myself.”

Let’s break it down simply.

The Sympathetic Nervous System: “Fight, Flight, or Freeze”

Think of this as your body’s accelerator — the system that switches on when you’re under pressure or caring for a baby.
It’s completely natural, especially for mums. Your body is wired to stay alert and respond when your child needs you.

This stress response releases cortisol and adrenaline, raising your heart rate and preparing you for action. It’s your built-in survival mode — the reason you can keep going when life feels full-on.

But here’s the catch — many parents stay in this “go-mode” all the time.
We wake up rushing, juggle work and family, and even when the house is quiet, our bodies can’t switch off.

Over time, this keeps cortisol high and rest out of reach.
Sound familiar?

🌙 The Parasympathetic Nervous System: “Rest and Digest”

Now, think of this as your body’s brake — your calm and recovery mode.
When your parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) is active, everything slows down.

💛 Heart rate and breathing ease
💛 Muscles relax
💛 Digestion and healing improve
💛 You feel grounded, safe, and present

This is the state your body needs for true rest and recovery — both physically and mentally.

And the key to shifting into this calm state?
Your vagus nerve — it’s  the communication channel from your brain to your body, sending the message: “You’re safe now. You can relax.”

🌬️ Try This Tonight

Before bed (or during night-time wake-ups), try this simple breathing exercise:

👉 Inhale for 3…
👉 Exhale for 6.

Keep your exhale twice as long as your inhale — that long, slow breath out tells your body it’s safe to slow down. You will feel your body relax. 

✨ When calm begins within you, sleep follows naturally.

If this resonates, you’re not alone — so many parents I support through CulaBaby Sleep & Wellness feel exactly the same way.

As a Child Sleep Consultant and Breathwork Coach, my work is about helping families move from chaos to calm — one breath, one bedtime, one nervous system at a time.

If you’d like to learn more about how to calm your nervous system and support your sleep, you’ll find free guided videos here , sleep tips, and details about my upcoming breathwork and sleep events on my website. And if you are struggling with your little ones sleep, you can book in for a Free Sleep Assessment call here. Let chat.